Sophie

So I want to start by saying that the maternity clothes industry I think on the whole is a bit of a racket. maternity clothes tend to assume that the only place we grow is our belly. One of my favorite things to do is what I call a closet console. It's hopping on a zoom for about an hour, it can be longer if you want, and we go through the clothes you already have read. I start by asking people what's something you love? But you never were? And let's figure out why.

Tanya Tringali

Are you pregnant? Or a new parent looking to ensure a better postpartum experience? Or are you a birth worker looking to improve your postpartum care skills? Check out thriving after birth, an online self paced course by me midwife and educator Tanya Tringali. It's 10 and a half hours of video content featuring experts in lactation mental health, pelvic floor health, pediatric sleep issues, you also get worksheets and a workbook as well as options to have a one on one session with me, sign up and Mother wit maternity.com/thriving. And let's improve postpartum care together.

Tanya Tringali

Hey, everyone, I'm your midwife, Tanya Tringali. Welcome to the mother wit podcast, a show about the issues we healthcare consumers and providers face every day as we interact with the medical system. We'll talk about its blind spots, shortcomings, and share strategies we can use to feel seen and heard no matter which side of the table we sit on.

Tanya Tringali

I just want to say for the record, that I am not a stylish person. I can look put together when I have to. But I hate shopping. I hate wearing makeup. And I hate feeling at all uncomfortable in my clothes. But I have to say I actually learned a few useful strategies from today's guest that I can and will apply to my own life and wardrobe. And I did not expect to say that. Sophie Strauss is a mom and a stylist. She is passionate about personal expression inclusivity and sustainability. And she loves working with pregnant and postpartum people she works with and for normal people every day, not the rich and famous, not celebrities. She recommends things like buying secondhand hand me downs and even runs clothing swaps in her community. She is the real deal stylist for regular people. At one point, I was listening to her talk and thinking about how applicable her advices and so many other aspects of life. What a pleasant surprise. Anyway, I had her on the show for are soon to be pregnant and newly pregnant listeners. Hopefully this will save you some time, trouble and money as your body starts to change more rapidly. I hope you enjoy the show. Sophie, thank you so much for joining me today, I'm really excited to have you this is actually a really different episode than what I'm used to doing. So it's going to be a little bit of a challenge for me.

Sophie

I'm so excited. I love to challenge people.

Tanya Tringali

I love that this challenge can be one that's kind of fun. And I really think our listeners will value what it is that you have to offer. So do me a favor and introduce yourself. Tell us whatever it is you think you want to share.

Sophie

Yeah, absolutely. So my name is Sophie Strauss, I am a stylist for regular people. I'm based in Los Angeles, but I actually work with clients all over the world actually, virtually, you know, over zoom, God bless them. And I really try to emphasize inclusivity personal expression, feeling good in our bodies, and, you know, sustainability when I can, you know, and all of those kinds of things in my work. Also, something that I don't always share on podcast, but feels relevant here is I have a one year old I am a I consider myself a relatively new mom. And so I've also recently gone through the pregnancy, birth, postpartum experience and starting this business actually really like coincided with that in a kind of cool way. So it's felt like a really organic overlap, actually. And I would say the majority of my clients have often been either new moms or moms who are not as new but are sort of going through that like identity crisis of okay, who am I? Am I just a mom, am I not only a mom, right? Like, what, whatever those things are. And so this felt like such a great overlap of my sort of two main identities at this moment.

Tanya Tringali

Yeah, it's super cool. Because when I think about how many people I've interviewed, who are you know, like you just said new ish moms, and they have big I'm really passionate about, let's say lactation or becoming a doula or whatever it is. You are having a similar experience and that you've taken this business of yours that's really cool and interesting and already had a unique flair, I think. But you've really been honing in on this pregnancy and postpartum piece, which is why I'm so interested in your work. Because, gosh, is this a time in life when we really need to feel good about ourselves, and some people feel really great about themselves, and some people don't. And I think that you're going to be able to offer our listeners, some tips and tricks, and maybe even some people will decide, oh, my gosh, I need this person in my life.

Sophie

Yes, I I am available to hire by any regular person, I don't you know, I, I occasionally work with people who, you know, are on the celebrity spectrum. But like the majority of my clients are regular people. And as I said, a lot of them are new moms. And I also, you know, part of how we actually ended up connecting, I believe, is a client of yours, who was a new mom, and we had such a great experience working together. And then I actually ended up teaching a pregnancy and postpartum class that's still available for anybody to take. But it just was like, Oh, my gosh, this is such a moment of sort of surrender and flux and changing identity changing body, I mean, the amount that your body changes in like a two year period is just really wild and, and challenging. And it's sometimes I think, seems silly to people to think about style. But I think it's one of those few places that people feel a little bit of agency and these moments of like real change. And it can be really hard, then if you feel like oh my god, I can't even dress the way I kind of want to dress because my body is changing constantly. And I don't know what fits or what's comfortable or all of these things. And so it was sort of this like real joy to be able to give people some tools to get a little bit about agency back.

Tanya Tringali

Yeah, and I think people come in not only so many shapes and sizes, literally speaking but figuratively as well, some people really want to show their belly off, they like wearing form fitting clothing, and they're really appreciating this time in their life. And other people just want to put on a paper bag and like have it all go away and not have people kind of approach them and all of that. So you've got a big challenge in terms of like figuring out who wants and needs what so that they can feel good about themselves and in their bodies and clothing. So on that note, I actually want to ask you, how do you work with people like what are the ways do you go into people's homes? Is it virtual? You mentioned you have a course. So what are the wide ranging ways that people can work with you?

Sophie

Yeah, absolutely. So the majority of my work I would say is virtual just because I clients are kind of all over the country. I do occasionally have clients in Los Angeles. And for those folks, if they want to work in person, we can but honestly, especially especially especially with moms, they're really busy, right? A one hour Zoom is much easier to commit to and you know, gift yourself than, you know, oh, we're gonna go spend a couple hours shopping or I'm going to come over and, you know, go through your closet with you. But I do all of those things. So we can do one of my favorite things to do is what I call a closet console, it's hopping on a zoom for about an hour, it can be longer if you want. And we go through the clothes you already have, right? I start by asking people what something you love, but you never wear and let's figure out why. And I really have no agenda in terms of how I want anybody to look, the only agenda I have is how I want people to feel which is good in their clothes, and start night meeting, you know, to your point about how some everybody experiences pregnancy just as an example really differently. I really, really, really don't subscribe to a one size fits all sort of approach. Even in my class. I really try to present a really wide range of ways people might want to feel or express themselves or dress during pregnancy and postpartum. And so I always sort of try to meet people where they're at and what they want and figure out the best thing for that person. But so I can do a closet consults sometimes a closet console, we identify a couple gaps in someone's closet and we go okay, great. Then maybe you need an a couple new blouses and a shirt and you don't have any boots and you know you you've changed sizes and your pants don't fit. So let's find you some pants that fit because everybody deserves to have pants that fit and sometimes that can be done in like a virtual online shopping list sometimes that if they're in Los Angeles, we go shopping together. There's a bunch of other services to trip packing services. I have some classes that people can either when I'm doing them live people can attend a class or they're all recorded them and people can purchase the recordings. There's you know, I do wedding styling services events done Link services. Sometimes it's like a single thing where somebody's like, oh, I have this jacket that I bought 10 years ago. And I love it so much. And it's falling apart and I need a new one. But I can't it's they don't sell it anymore. Can you help me find something similar, right? We do that I offer sliding scale pricing so that it's accessible to as many people as possible. And I'm adding new services all the time as I kind of get to know people's needs. But that's sort of the bulk of how people work with me. And you can go on my website, and you know, I have a big list of services there. That's amazing.

Tanya Tringali

I really never imagined that I would be talking to a stylist on the show, for starters, but also what I honestly feel like we have structured our businesses in very similar ways, because we have a similar goal, we're really trying to reach regular people. And that's, I think, not common in either of our spheres. I mean, in my, if I was going to work in an office setting, then it would be normal. But for me in this virtual world, I'm really trying to reach normal people. There's something that you were talking about in your course, as I was reviewing it that I want to ask you about. Yeah, but I want to put a little twist on it. Also, you talked about maternity sizing being complicated. And I really want to hear your view on that. In all reality. I don't know anything about this. So I just because I'm a midwife doesn't mean I have ever really paid a lot of attention to maternity clothes, I was kind of surprised by that. I didn't really think about it. My only child is 22 years old. And let me just tell you that 22 years ago, there were very few maternity clothing options. And so I didn't want to buy any maternity clothes, because I bought one pair of pants. And it was like that whole thing where there's like a belly pocket. And it has to go all the way up to like right under your boobs. And then that was really irritating to me. And I hated those pants. So then I went to the gap and bought two pairs of cargo pants. And I looked like a construction worker. And I wear those pants throughout the whole pregnancy. I never felt like I looked good. So I totally totally understand why this is so important. I felt really dumpy, the whole pregnancy and I kind of hid myself weirdly, in a way that isn't what I usually do. But at the same time, I've been watching how clothing has changed over 22 years. I've actually the only time I ever feel jealous and want to be pregnant is I'm like, Look at all these great options. This would be so much better now. But obviously,

Sophie

I was pregnant a year ago or two years ago now. And even when I was making this course, I was like, damn, those pants are so cute. I wish those were around like a year ago when I was pregnant. So 22 years ago, I can totally imagine

Tanya Tringali

Its so crazy. So yeah, I have this weird little jealous streak of how much how many options seem to exist. But you're shining a light on the fact that there's still a problem. But I don't even entirely understand what the problem is. So I'm sure for our listeners who are planning a pregnancy or early in pregnancy, they don't know what's coming either. So if you could shed some light on the system, and what it is that so screwed up about it, that'd be awesome.

Sophie

Yeah, okay. So I want to start by saying that the maternity clothes industry, I think on the whole is a bit of a racket. And the big thing that I sort of try to emphasize in my class is that there are a handful of things that are worth getting one or two actually designated maternity pieces because of the way that they fit. Even if it's, you know, you're buying something ultimately that you're really only going to wear for a couple months, maybe you're going to have another pregnancy soon, and you'll wear it again or whatever. But ultimately, it's not a very sustainable way to shop. Right? It's not a very cost effective way to shop. So but but you'll get especially with social media now, right? Like there's some study that was like Facebook knows you're pregnant before you do or something like that, right. So it's like, you will start getting advertised all of these very fancy, expensive maternity you need a maternity, this and a nursing that and a maternity leave, you know, nursing combo pumping this. And ultimately, a lot of those things are bullshit, you know, so So I want to sort of give that umbrella caveat. And like, the first thing I would tell people is, oh my gosh, you're going to be advertised to so much for all of these things you're supposed to buy for pregnancy and postpartum and most of them you do not need and it can be a way that people calm their nerves by buying things, you know, oh, I think I'm prepared wherever we all make those mistakes. Sometimes you end up using it right, whatever. But there's a lot of things you don't need. There are a handful of pieces that I think are worth getting, getting secondhand if you can or getting as a hand me down. Always better. But sometimes you got to buy something. There are a few things that are that sort of fall into that category. But the thing that's really tricky with maternity clothes and with maternity style, right as maternity clothes in general, it's better than it was 22 years ago for sure, but they tend to have a pretty narrow sense of of what it means to be a pregnant person. Right I mean, even in the in the term Right maternity, it's very gendered right there, we know that there are trans pregnant people, there are people who don't identify as women who are going through pregnancy. It tends not to be very inclusive for people who fall into that end of the spectrum. It also is like sort of stylistically very narrow, even if it's, you know, even if you identify as a woman, you still might be like, Oh, my God, why is everything floral and flowy? And it's like, oh, my god, am I supposed to only ever dress like an Earth Mother Goddess, you know, in a long flowy, dress, or whatever. So it can feel really limiting in that way. So there's the sort of stylistic limitations of maternity clothes. But I think the other issue really is like, as you were sort of mentioning earlier, the sizing is really confusing. maternity clothes tend to assume that the only place we grow is our belly. And that's how the sizing is done to right. So a lot of times, if you're looking for information on how to buy, you're like, Okay, I'm gonna buy maternity jeans and, and maternity clothes in general tend to be designed with a size range. That's that's sort of the point, right? It's not just that it's going to fit you at one point in your pregnancy, the idea really is okay, it has a stretchy bump, component, or it's flowy. Or you can tie it or you can do whatever so that as your stomach grows, you can continue to wear it. That's sort of the defining principle of maternity wear. However, sometimes it's like, okay, well, if you're a medium when you're, you know, in not pregnant, then just by a medium when you're pregnant. Well, that's not even true in regular American sizing, when you're not pregnant, right? Like we all know, I'm a medium from one store, I'm a large from another store. I'm a six in this, I'm an eight in that I'm a six from the same store and an eight and another item from that same store, right? Like we all know, and then and that's not taking into consideration at all our own body fluctuation. So the idea that, Oh, you just take your same size is like, well, also, what if you're somebody whose legs have also, you know, gotten a little bit bigger, or whose feet have grown or who, right, like there are so many parts of our bodies that change. And the idea that you're supposed to just take the same size is ridiculous. So that's really tricky. And I found myself getting a pair of like two pairs of leggings from the same brand, both in a size medium, and one was perfect. And the other one I couldn't get over my knees, you know. And so that's just really tricky. And one of the things that gets suggested a lot like if you read any fashion magazines, or you Google like, stylish maternity wear is what people tend to suggest is instead of going for maternity clothes, and this is not terrible advice, it's it's quite good. Buy regular clothes a size or two up, because also then it's like maybe you could belt it, or tie it or tailor it postpartum and continue to wear it. Which is really nice. In theory, however, that's really limited in terms of who can actually access that option, right? If you're somebody who's already in a plus size range, then what if you're already towards the top of the size range that most brands carry? Where do you go, you have to go to maternity wear. And luckily, a lot of plus size stores do carry good maternity lines. And I have like a big roster of those brands for people if they ever need them. But it's pretty limiting, right? So it's like, and we already know that plus sized clothing styles tend to be limited. So plus size and maternity is like extra limited in terms of like what it actually looks like. So there's a lot of things about what your body is, and how you sort of identify and want to present yourself that become more and more limited. With maternity clothing. And my I mean, honestly, my advice to people is to be gentle with themselves because it is the quote like this is true in all of my work. But especially in pregnancy and postpartum the clothes job is to fit you not the other way around. And if you don't fit in something that's not you're failing, that's the clothes, right? And it's not necessarily the clothes failing, but it's they're not for you, right, it's not the right thing for you, and there's no value that you need to assign to that. Because stuffs not gonna fit, you're gonna get maternity clothes and and be like, Whoa, these are huge, but these are tiny, and, you know, whatever. It's just, it's really hard.

Tanya Tringali

So is it the case, though, that I mean, I'm hearing you say you only need a few items that are specifically maternity. So that leads me to believe that what you're saying is you probably already have a lot in your closet that you can continue to use, and it's about seeing the items differently. Is that what's going on? Absolutely. Can you give an example of something that someone might look at and think, Well, I'm pregnant? I can't wear that, but they're just wrong. They're missing it. They're not seeing it?

Lo

Have you encountered confusion and anxiety when it comes to feeding your baby? Whether you are in the prenatal stage, or are already feeding your baby? I would love to partner with you so that you feel at ease about the feeding choices you make for your baby. My name is low NIOSH as an internationally board certified lactation consultant, I can combine my expertise of hormones milk supply and infant and parent physiology with your expertise of your family situation. To help you feel more joy and less frustration while feeding your baby. You can find all my information at my website at WWW dot Quabbin births services.com.

Tanya Tringali

Hey everyone, it's me, Tanya, your host here at the mother wit podcast. You know, I sometimes invite my clients on the show to talk about their birth stories and postpartum experiences. But I want to tell you a little bit more about what those clients and I actually do together. I started mother wit to help people in the perinatal period achieve their health and wellness goals. That means whether you're hoping to conceive and struggling with high blood pressure, or high blood sugar, or you're having trouble managing anxiety or depression in the postpartum period, or maybe you just need support and advocacy between prenatal or postpartum visits, I can help get a discount on your first consultation with me at motherwort maternity.com. Using the code first console 10% off. That's one 0% symbol, all one word. I'm looking forward to working with you. And maybe having you on the show too.

Support us!

We hope you're enjoying the mother wit podcast. If you are, please rate us and leave a review in iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you're listening to your podcast. Thanks so much. Now back to the show.

Sophie

Yeah, so I mean, I think tight stretchy clothes, like especially like a tight stretchy dress like something that's even body con when you're not pregnant. A lot of times, those are actually pretty elasticized and resilient. That's definitely something that's an option. But I really like to point out signs of versatility and close, does it have a drawstring does it have a flat elastic waistband like um, yoga pants, right that use maybe we roll over when we're not pregnant, you unroll that sort of rollover waistband, and you roll, you pull it up, and suddenly you have a great high waisted pant, button buttons, zippers, ties, things like that, that you write things you can suddenly were open and or you can tie them up over your bumper you can write like, there are so many pieces like that, if your partner has a larger size than you are borrowing some of their clothes, there's some hacks and stuff like that, you know, the rubberband trick on your fly button. I'm not a fan, I just find that really uncomfortable, but some people really like it. Also, depending on what you're comfortable with, right? Like it can be really cute to just wear your jeans unbuttoned and rolled over right, like, you know. So there are a lot of options like that sweat pants, and it can be uncomfortable, especially when you're exhausted and pregnant, but trying things on. But, you know, I think that the advice that I tend to give is that there are a couple pieces that will that without them. Your Closet will feel really off limits and sort of limited. But if you have a good pair of maternity leggings, a good pair of maternity jeans, one or two tanks or T shirts that are like actually if they're not truly maternity that go long enough to cover your bone, because that's not everybody wants that. But a lot of people feel uncomfortable with their bumps sticking out. And so if you have like a tank that actually covers, that can be really useful. And then suddenly, a blouse that you normally wear closed, you can wear it open or you can just button the center button, right, you can tie a sweater or you can wear a dress as a jacket, right? If it's a shirt dress, you can wear it open as a sort of duster. Rushing is also a really good detail to look for in non maternity pieces, because it basically means the fabric is gathered along the seam. And that means that there's a lot of fabric there that's getting sort of squished into a small space that when you're not pregnant, lays sort of in a rush style, but when you're pregnant will expand and open up almost like event. So that can be great. I would also say that I like to give people permission to be comfortable and you don't have to be super stylish as a pregnant person. Right? That that's also okay, you can just like wear a big T shirt and sweats. I did that a lot too. Like,

Tanya Tringali

yeah, I kind of I want to believe that because of the culture of athleisure. We now kind of can more far away through the first trimester in athleisure because it's what everybody's wearing all the time anyway. And that pregnancy in terms of the clothing needs is kind of like the window is a little shorter. So second trimester ends up being where people are like, Oh, no, this is really happening. So like you mentioned the the hairband trick, and yeah, of course it's like one of the only tricks I have up my sleeve to offer people because I'm not a stylist, right. So I do tell people to do that. But for me that's like when you need to do that. That says okay, I just bought myself a couple of weeks to figure it out. Because last forever that trick it's a very short window.

Sophie

I think everybody Probably has that moment I had that moment like sort of the end of my first trimester. I was like, I'm not gonna get maternity pants I found some like larger men's Dickies on sale at like urban outfitters or something. And I was like, I'm just gonna get these a couple sizes up and I'll just wear them really low. I mean, they fit for a week, like you use you, you have to really quickly come to terms with, with things that are adjustable, and things that actually have some flexibility and even if the pants are bigger ultimately if they're stiff, you're it's not gonna work. Yeah, like one of the things that's funny with overalls that I think people don't always realize is it's not x, right. overalls are a go to maternity piece. I struggle with them because when I was pregnant, I had to pee constantly. And I was like, Oh my God, you have to get naked every time I go pee. But some people really like swear by them. And I again, I think that's just like To each their own. Because overalls are adjustable you have the buttons on the side that you can undo as your bum grows. You also have the shoulder straps, which we think of as shoulder straps. But what happens when your bump grows is that you can loosen the shoulder straps and then you actually have more room through your front side. Right that they're actually really adjustable. That's why people wear overalls. So I think that there are a lot of these sort of maternity stables that people don't always think of what like why is this useful for maternity if you can actually identify oh well maternity clothes are stretchy or they have you know several settings of where I can set them or their that you tie them or their ruched or whatever, then you can look for those traits in non maternity clothes.

Tanya Tringali

Do you have a few favorite stores that you think sell the staples that most people need?

Sophie

Yeah, I do. And you know, I I recommend looking on thread up. I will warn you now thread up has it's a secondhand consignment, like, you know, it's also great for baby clothes. It's where I get like so many baby clothes because and then you can send old baby clothes in and they resell them and, um, throw it up as less expensive. It's all secondhand. I warn you that the like maternity mannequin that they used to put their maternity clothes on is like a horrifying like mannequin with like a pillow stapled to its front or something like it's it's alarming to look at. But that can be a really great place just to get a couple pieces. Other than that, you know, I really I think in I often tried to avoid fast fashion. But I don't think that there are a lot of great, like non fast fashion maternity wear companies. I think even the ones that are more expensive are still sort of participating in that fast fashion model anyway, so they just tend to be really expensive. So I like to warn people against hatch, which is so expensive and the quality is just not that great. If you have a piece that you're really coveting from a place like hatch or a pea in the pod or something like that, like some of the higher end places, I would again suggest checking Poshmark or thread up for those same pieces. Because it's just so pricey and it's not really worth it. I really actually think motherhood maternity has a pretty good inventory of well priced pieces. I got my jeans there. Um, Jessica Simpson actually makes great maternity jeans. Old Navy makes great maternity jeans like really cute. I'm a fan of actually the over bump versus the side. There's sort of two types of maternity pants there's the side vent or not vent that sort of side panel and then the front panel and the front panel tends to be a full panel so it goes all the way up and over your bump. I totally get what you're saying right but I found that can be really itchy and I'd have to sort of like really moisturize my stomach before I put those pants on. And I did get pretty far in my pregnancy before needing those. But the side panel I found like slipped down and didn't really look like regular pants when I wore them but some people really liked them motherhood maternity and Old Navy are two of my favorites. I think h&m has some good tanks and stuff like that. So for people looking for something a little bit more in the like higher end, you know, maybe more sustainable organic cotton's things like that stork s t o r q. People really like it. Again, I didn't find like I didn't personally buy anything from there but I've had a lot of clients have some success from there and it's not quite as expensive as hatch. But those are my recommendations for where to find things and ask your friends right if you have a ask your doula your midwife Do you have any you know, clients or anybody you might connect me with? Who was just pregnant who might have some maternity clothes to hand down right? I think we forget about those. We get a little bit self conscious or embarrassed but I bet If I bet you know somebody who has a pile of maternity clothes that they don't have space for in their home and you have a bunch of maternity clothes you need so I also recommend not especially because I think for the most part, it's, it's generally better to get maternity clothes that are a little bit more like basic that you can then add flair to with non maternity accessories or pieces layered over them. Versus like spending a lot of money on some really special maternity dress. If you have an event, I suggest renting a dress from a place like Rent the Runway or newly, which actually have specific maternity rentals. But that can be great for like, if you have you know, a wedding to go to or something like that, which which does happen, right? That happens all the time. People who are like seven months pregnant are like, Oh my god, I have to go to this work event or I have to go to this thing. I don't suggest buying a dress. If you can avoid it, I recommend renting one.

Tanya Tringali

Yeah, I actually love Rent the Runway. I am not a stylish person. And I don't want to own a bunch of dresses. And I learned that I could wear a really high quality dress that I would never have paid for and look a whole lot better than I would have looked at I spent that same amount of money and then had that dress sitting in my closet and never word again. So yes, I agree with the Rent the Runway. Suggestion 100%. I have another question for you. I've been holding it in my mind as best I can. I love it. You use the phrase that I don't know what it means. Maybe I'm the only one bringing on fast fashion. What does that mean?

Sophie

Great. Okay, so I'm so glad you asked. So fast fashion is really a pretty like umbrella term. And I think when most people who've maybe heard it in passing, think about it. We're talking about brands really like Shin, Zara, h&m, the basically they are the it's it's a model of fashion business, that's really about prioritizing profits over everything else, which is generally any business under capitalism. But what that means the fashion industry in particular, is that it's really about sort of creating a constant need for more pieces in consumers by having drops, you know, right. The old fashion models essentially seasonal, right? You get new clothes as the weather changed and even then it was that was still a relatively manufactured need. Then it was like monthly Zara does weekly. Shein does daily right Fashion Nova does daily, it is low quality, relatively disposable pieces meant to only be worn a couple times that are at a very low price and will probably fall apart and that tend to be very trendy, right? They cater to the whims of trends with a celebrity or with a Kardashian or what's trending on Tik Tok. And that you know that the model is essentially that clothes are disposable, and you buy things quickly and cheaply. And then you get rid of them and things that there are lots of companies that are more expensive that still fall into that business model. By the way, it's not just Zara or h&m or Old Navy, right? There are a lot of places, in fairness actually, right, I would say a majority of the fashion industry falls into some version of that. It's the sort of rapid creation of items to make us want to buy more stuff, that that's what it's designed for. But at the same time, a lot of those companies that are less expensive, right, the bigger box companies, the Walmarts, the targets, those are as the h&m, the old navies, they're also what tend to be accessible for people. And I think that when we talk about sustainability, or labor practices or things like that, that ultimately don't put the onus on particularly like a, you know, a lower income consumer who might have that be one of their only options for buying clothes. And I also think that if you're thoughtful, right, like we all live in this system, and there's only so much we can really do as consumers to change that. Right. Like the fast fashion version would be going to ASOS and buying 20 maternity dresses so that you have a new outfit to wear and every Instagram photo and then getting rid of all of them when you're done as opposed to going okay. Yes, I don't want to spend a ton of money. I'm gonna get two pairs of leggings. I'm gonna get a pair or two of jeans, and I'm gonna get to tank tops into T shirts to last me for basically a year. And then everything else I'm going to try to really be mindful and accessorize or style or, you know, make more personal with my own clothes. Or if I'm going to buy something new, maybe I buy something secondhand or I buy something that's a little bit more of an investment piece that's going to fit right like if you're going to buy new clothes. When you're pregnant. Maybe you buy a great jacket or a great sort of, you know, silky robe or something that you can throw over, that's gonna fit that you can wear when you're not pregnant as well like, then that's not, you know, that's a long term investment. So that's sort of what we mean when we talk about fast fashion versus, you know, sort of I think the term people say is either slow fashion or sustainable fashion or thoughtful fashion, conscious style, conscious fashion, things like that. And all of it is imperfect. But and we all tend to have to participate a little bit in both. But that's, that's really what we mean.

Tanya Tringali

Yeah, that's, that's more or less what I inferred. But then you mentioned companies I wasn't super familiar with, and I didn't refer to them as higher end. And that's what I thought maybe I don't know exactly what you mean. And I think we've all had this experience buying something from h&m or a store of that level of quality, and you wash it one time, and it's gone. That's not even going to get you through a pregnancy. So what is the use of that? So I've done my very best to not buy clothes in those stores for many years. Now. With that said, I recognize that that is inherent privilege, right? Yeah, I try really hard to dress you're looking at me wearing right now I've owned for about 14 years, right? That's where my head is at, it's like you spend a little bit more money, and something becomes a staple for life. Right? Like I have workout clothes that I've had now for easy, 10 years, they're still in really good shape. I'm trying really hard in my own life to buy as little as possible, and have it be stuff that will last and buy from companies that are trying to do the right thing, in terms of their labor market, and sustainability. And I think many people listening to this show are people who try to do that as much as they can within their budget. So I really appreciate that longer explanation. Because I may have not really thought about it beyond naming and calling out h&m And the stores on that level,

Sophie

a lot of it comes down to how you use it and how you're shopping for it and all of those things and recognizing that all of those things are privileges, right? If you're somebody who even has the time to go to Target and look at the pieces in person, if you're somebody who wears a clothing size that they keep in inventory in stock in in stores right now, right? Essentially, if you were over a size 12 finding anything in stores almost anywhere that isn't a giant box store, and even then it's almost impossible, and you have to shop online. So you take the risk of I'm gonna order this thing, and maybe I can't actually, you know, assess the quality of it in person, you know, I can't touch the fabric, I can't see how the thread looks or anything like that. And I think that what's really tricky about pregnancy, is that being mindful in that way that I think so many of your listeners, I'm sure really try to be in the rest of their lives becomes really hard. You go okay, how am I supposed to buy an investment piece for a body that's changing every day? And is going to be different in nine months anyway? And then it's going to be different after that. And, you know, so So answering that question of how do I even do that thoughtfully. That's really why I try not to put as much pressure on where the things come from. But really, how many pieces are you buying? And are you buying them in a way that's sort of thoughtful, so that you can use them almost as extended right outfit extenders in your already existing wardrobe? And I also think, you know, I have pieces like you, right? I have pieces that I've had, I mean, I have lots of pieces that I had 1015 years. Some of them are fast fashion pieces, right? Some of them are things that I've gotten from places like Zara or h&m that some of it is also that happened to last or the right it's how did you take care of it? Did you get did you buy it? And this is a big thing that I do in my work in general, aside from pregnancy and postpartum work is did you buy it? Because you liked it? Or did you buy it because it's trendy, because if you bought it because you like it, then the chances are pretty good that you're going to keep wearing it and you're going to take good care of it. And you're gonna you're gonna like it in a couple months versus if you bought it because somebody wore it on Instagram. And then it got advertised to you and you felt this sort of itch that you needed to scratch. And so you got it and you wore it once for the photo, and then it lost its shine and it's relegated to the back of your closet, and then you go dump it at Goodwill where then nobody buys it and it goes into landfill. That's very different than making right if you're right, if you're buying fast fashion pieces, but you're holding on to them and you're making use of them. That's not the end of the world. Right? That's, that's at least a good use of that product that's already been created, right? That thing exists. If you've got it, try to take care of it. Try to make sure you're buying it because it's actually something that you like, and if you're going to focus your energy on trying to you know, find ways to change these systems and that's not going to come as a consumer anyway. Right. That's going to come by supporting labor efforts, union efforts, right legislation to regulate big fashion corporations or dumb thing or waste management or things like that channel that energy there, right? Like, I don't think that we are well served to beat ourselves up for like individual occasional choices that we make as consumers in this society that's so impossibly harmful and all these other ways. So it's like, you know, I try to try to take the shame away from it.

Tanya Tringali

But I think another way we can think about this, and maybe I'm only speaking for myself, I hope people will let me know what they think about this. I know that regardless of how many items I actually own, the reality is when I do my laundry every week, I wear many of the same things over and over and over again. So we all feel this need to have these, this wardrobe for the what ifs and the special occasions, but that they just don't come out that often. And we end up with a closet full of stuff that we are passionate about in some way. We love them. We don't want to get rid of them. When we tell ourselves it's time to purge, we have a hard time letting go of stuff. And we all play different mental games, right? Like if I haven't worn it a year, I should get rid of it, whatever. There's a million tricks in the book. But I think this is a time in life to really think about, what do you really wear on the day to day and not blow your money on this stuff? Because let's face it, your money's better spent going into a college fund?

Sophie

Yes. Yeah, absolutely. This is not a time, you're going to people are going to spend money on so many things, you're going to spend money on baby stuff, and people are going to be buying you all and also your house is gonna fill up with stuff right? People are gonna get you weird shit you don't want for your baby, you're gonna get hand me downs, you're gonna have baby gear, you're gonna and most of us don't have a lot of space, either. It's like, you know, I'm sitting here I've got a baby blanket of Bjoern baby carrier toys, my breast pump my, the tush baby, like just in my office, right? Like, you're gonna get so much stuff. You're gonna regret getting a ton of maternity wear, as opposed to investing in, even if it's just an emotional investment, right? Forget, like, it doesn't have to be a financial investment. But taking the time instead of making a panicked impulse buy because you're so frustrated with your closet, actually stopping and thinking, Okay, what do I have? What do I need, what handful of pieces will make it so that my closet becomes more available to me than it than it feels right now.

Tanya Tringali

Well, now I'm gonna plug you just a little bit here to say it seems to me, and I'm literally figuring this out as I listened to you, it seems to me that it could be more economical and better for the, you know, environment and all the things to have a concert with you during pregnancy. Because if it is true, which it sounds like it is that we have a lot of things in our wardrobes that we can capitalize on during pregnancy, well then logic holds that it will also work for us postpartum if it's stuff we were wearing nonpregnant. And we found a way to make it work during pregnancy, that's going to carry us through the transition that can take a long time to get through as we navigate that long postpartum period and the body changes and settling out into our new bodies. Is that fair?

Sophie

Absolutely. I mean, obviously, I'm going to agree because you were very nice about my services. But yes, I, I totally agree. And I think, you know, my, my goal in general is is not right, I don't I didn't see this. But I don't work off of a commission in any capacity. That's also something that is a little bit different from a lot of other stylists, I really have no investment and people buying anything. I don't want people to feel incentivized to buy more stuff to get me more money or to make me happy or any of those things. And what you were what you were saying about that sort of as you're doing laundry, right, realizing you were the same couple of things over and over again, also brings up this like a lot of what I do in my work, which is I like to dig into right a closet console does essentially is going okay, you mentioned all those pieces that you can't let go of that are in your closet. I actually don't want you to get rid of them. Right. I think we have this idea from minimalism and a sort of very specific vision of what sustainability looks like that the cleanest most sustainable thing is to get rid of everything that you have and live a really like minimal lifestyle. But where does that stuff go? If you get rid of it, I don't actually want you to get rid of it. If there's stuff that's really not serving you, then I would like to help you find a responsible way to donate it or I host clothing swaps, right? I could help you host a clothing swap right, whatever those things are. But instead of that, I actually am invested in helping you figure out how to wear those pieces. Whether it's in your everyday life or it's for a special occasion. Most people have a reason why they don't reach for those things. And it's it's it's rarely a piece where you're like oh my gosh, I love this so much I know exactly how to wear it. And it looks great on me, I just haven't had for quite right moment for it. A lot of times those pieces have a little something that makes you go, Oh, I just, I don't know what it is, there's something about it, that I just I put it on and I always end up taking it off and reaching for my uniform

Tanya Tringali

You are so preaching to the choir right now, that is exactly it, I have things in my closet that I love. And I want to like on my body, and I don't like them on my body. And I just every time take it back off. And I don't know, three months later, so I think something magical is gonna have changed about my body. And I'm gonna like it again. And it's the same disappointment over and over and over again. So what do you do about that?

Sophie

Okay, I have a couple of things. Oh, I'm so excited. I get to I get to really preach here. Okay. So first of all, my like whole bread and butter. The thing that I emphasize more than anything is that people and this, it's my job, and I'm happy to help people they don't have we're not encouraged to do this. You got to learn what you like and don't like, you have to learn what you like and don't like. And I know that sounds really simple. But I don't think people realize how much they don't know what they like and don't like when it comes to clothes. So like I use a sort of metaphor that I think illustrates it for people, which is I believe that the way that people shop for clothes and buy clothes and navigate their closet, most people right not not stylists, not fashionistas, or whatever. But like regular people is almost like if every single time you went to a restaurant, you looked at the menu, and you had despite having been to a restaurant 100 times before maybe even that exact restaurant, you do not know the flavors you like you do not know what allergies you have. You don't know if you're a vegetarian, or if you love me, you don't know if you have celiacs or you're like a carnivore, right, you don't know if you have a sweet tooth or not. And every single time you go to a restaurant, you kind of shrug your shoulders. Maybe you're like I think I liked this thing last time maybe. And you point out right? Maybe you're a vegetarian with celiacs. And you order the pasta with veal sauce, and then it comes in, you're like, oh, I have one of two choices. Now I have to eat this thing that's going to make me sick and uncomfortable. Or I have to send it back and waste food. And that sounds like really kind of ridiculous to people. Because it's like, of course no, we spend our lives consuming food and we get a sense of right and there's no right. It's not trendy. It's not cool. Maybe you like tomatoes, and I don't like tomatoes. I love tomatoes. But just by way of example, and we go to restaurants together and you order something with tomatoes on it. And I don't it's it's it's that simple, right. And maybe I'm an adventurous eater who eats everything and maybe you're a little bit pickier and you have the stuff that you know you like and you're gonna stick to that. There's nothing wrong with either of those things. But if you take that and you go, you take it from food and you apply it to clothes and you go okay, every time people go shopping, right? They've gotten you've purged your closet of stuff you don't wear Did you ever ask yourself really why you don't wear it? What is it about that dress that that's really not working for you? Because chances are you're going to go buy the new stuff after you purge your closet. And you're gonna buy some stuff that have a lot of the traits that have the things that had that you got rid of in the first place. And then guess what, you have a new closet full of things you don't wear and a bunch of clothes sitting in the landfill. And so I really try to work with people to talk about and help them identify. Okay, what are you not liking and sometimes I have a pretty good guess I've been doing this with enough you know, enough people that I can go I think it's probably where this is hitting on your waist right? I think it's probably the way that this is feeling on your neck or the the feel of the fabric, right? Or maybe this print. You seem like maybe it's the print that you're not liking and let's talk about that. Right, like, like, and there's no right or print that you hate. I may love. And that's great, right? There's no again, there's no right or wrong. It's not Oh, well, you bought something that's not cool. And I need to tell you why it's not cool. I don't I have no investment in cool. But that's that's a cycle that really happens. And so one of my favorite things to do with people is to have right I would ask you that very question. Right? Okay, you have your uniform. Great. You have the stuff that's in your laundry every week because you know what it is and uh, you know, it fits you know, it's comfortable. I'm not worried about that stuff. Let's look at the stuff that's been hanging in your closet that you can't get rid of, but you never wear let's try them on. And let's see if we can style them in ways that make you go oh, oh yeah. If I do it like this, I would wear it. And essentially, and this is my other like big piece of advice. I facilitate playing dress up. And I think we all lose that time especially as mothers especially as adults with jobs and kids and all of these things. Is that what happens when you for exams Because really, I think this comes up for people with like special occasions. I mean, everybody wants to look good on the daily basis, but it's like people like, especially moms, they're like, Listen, I'm gonna wear my sweats or my jeans, my T shirt during the day with the kids, but we're going out for a date, and I don't know what to wear. And I either one of two things happens, right? You want to wear something really special. And so you reach for that thing that you never wear, and you put it on, but you have 20 minutes to get ready, right? So you just throw it on, and you don't know you put on your shoes and you leave. And you spend all night kind of pulling out your outfit and adjusting it because if something feels off, and you don't feel comfortable in your skin or in your body, or you're nervous that that's going to happen. So in that 20 minutes, you reach for the uniform and you're comfortable, but you feel like God, you know, I I don't have a lot of opportunities to go out to dinner. And I really, I, we went and we had this special night. And instead of wearing something that felt kind of like a fun occasion, I wore the same thing I wear every week, that's a bummer. And those are the two things that happen. And playing dress up is the solution. Give yourself an hour, right and I know that can be really hard to find, especially when you're a new parent. But give yourself an hour once every couple months on a weekend or maybe when the kids are at school or whatever. pour a glass of wine, smoke a joint and put on a you know, record light a candle like I don't care, do whatever makes you feel good and relaxed. And play dress up. Right? Like you were like, What are your kids? Right? What if I wear this shirt with these pants? What if I tuck it in? What if I tie it? What if I wear it open? What if I roll the sleeves up? What if I wear it with this necklace? What if I wear it with that necklace? But if I wear it with these shoes or those shoes? What if I add socks? What if I throw this jacket on? It's like crazy? What if I put this hat on? I don't even wear hats? Do I love this? Do I hate it? And when you find something you like, take a selfie. And basically make a little outfits folder for yourself so that when you get those 20 minutes before the date, you go, oh yeah, I put that on. I loved it, throw it on, or call me and we'll do it together. Right but but that's like play dress up. That is like my number one piece of advice for people.

Tanya Tringali

You know what I love about this and listening to you. First of all, I just our listeners can't see me. But I can't wipe the smile off my face. Because first of all, adorable and second of all, like you're you bring such energy to this. And everything you're saying relates to so many other parts of life. Like if I just tune out what we're actually talking about. This is applicable in all of our relationships, in our relationship to ourselves. Like as adults who are busy, who are new parents, we lose our sense of humor, we forget how to play like I'm as guilty of all of that as anyone else. And so I'm hearing how relevant this is to other parts of life. So while I'm somebody who like, he doesn't really care that much about fashion, clearly I care a little bit because I'm able to engage in this discussion and tell you things about my own closet while we're talking about it. But I want to I want to not care because I don't want to deal. But that's the cycle, right? That's the cycle we're all going through. I really love it. I love what you're out there doing. I think it's really special. And it's really sweet. And I love, I just love the spin you've put on it. I love the kind of nonprofit feel of it all. And it's not to say that you don't deserve to make a bunch of money doing this you do. But I love that you're not like tied to some company that's paying you as an affiliate or whatever all those structures are, it's really, really great. You're really looking at each individual and saying how can I help you feel better about yourself, I love that you are embracing pregnancy and postpartum through all of this. It's just great. I'm so impressed.

Sophie

Thank you so much. It's it's been really fun. And I love that you said, um, you know, not that you're like a big fashion person, right, like or anything like that. And I think that's one of my favorite things is being able to give people permission to care about their clothes. And I think we all feel like it's really silly and superficial. And in many ways it is right, like clothes are not going to save the world. Like, you know, you got to still you got to participate and be an active member of your community. But ultimately, I think that it's about how you get to move through the world. Right? And and how yourself you get to feel all the time and and it's an affirming experience, or if it's something that makes you feel sort of distant from yourself. And that's what I care about.

Tanya Tringali

Well Im going to play devil's advocate with you for a second and say, Yeah, you're right in directly. It doesn't save the world. But what you might be doing is give somebody who's trying to save the world the confidence to get up in front of an audience and speak or whatever it is what needs to happen this year,

Sophie

totally. I like being a part of it.

Tanya Tringali

One more question for you that I like to ask if everyone who comes on the show who's not a client and even sometimes my clients who have who are entrepreneurs. I have so many people on this show who are solo woman owned businesses mompreneurs woman printers, all the printers that are being thrown around in the ether these days. And I just want to ask you, if you have any tips you'd like to share for someone who might be wanting to strike out on their own and do something creative, that might make a difference in someone's life, whether it is fashion or its health care,

Sophie

I would say, start doing it, but start small, like, I have been able to expand this into what it is because I started pretty small. And I know that sounds maybe like the opposite of whoa, go strike out there and go do. I started doing these like little shops for very little money, I was still working at my other job, and I was a new mom. And I got to learn. Without worrying, right, I got to make a little bit of money on the side, while I learned the ins and outs of what I was going to do, right, I made some mistakes, I figured, okay, this is how I'm going to do that going forward, because that didn't really work. And you get to do that without being like, oh, my gosh, well, this, my clients gonna be so mad at me. And I would also say that obviously, it really depends on what your businesses, but like this year, for me of doing this has really been about building up relationships. And it's, it's, there's, there's nothing better like, and you can nickel and dime your clients or your customers over this or that or the other thing, and I want every person who is doing labor to be compensated fairly for their work, I really believe in that. But at the same time, especially if it's just you, there are times where there's a client who can't pay as much as I want, or maybe I've under charged them for this, that or the other thing. I'm building a roster of related relationships with people who want to see me succeed and who feel connected to me and excited about my work and who are going to tell their friends. And so think about it as an investment in a long term relationship and, and that any business really is only as good as you treat the people around you, whether they're your customers, or yourself or your co workers or whatever, or your family, right, like you don't want to neglect and in exchange for it. So you know, try to think about the strength of relationships, because that's really what it all comes down to.

Tanya Tringali

I love it. I hear themes here, I hear side hustle, I hear an ethical and thoughtful approach. And those are things that are really powerful tools for people. I wish we heard more of that, I hope that the pandemic, my hope for people is that one positive to have come out of the pandemic is more people feeling like they can take their professional life into their own hands, even if it doesn't make as much money as we might make being employed by a larger corporation or a healthcare company, or whatever the case may be. But it is ours. And we can own it. And we can mold it over time. And it's nice to hear that those themes are resonating outside of healthcare, and the ways in which we can interface with companies outside of our industries. So it's been really lovely having you on can you tell people how to find you?

Sophie

Yes, absolutely. Well, first of all, thank you for having me. And you can find me on Instagram at Sophie Strauss styling, or on my website, which is Sophie Strauss. styling.com.

Tanya Tringali

Awesome. We'll make sure to put all your details in the show notes. Thanks so much. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me.

Tanya Tringali

Thank you for listening to the mother whip podcast. If any of the issues we discussed today resonate with you or your experience, I'd love to hear from you. Leave me a voicemail at 917-310-0573. Or better yet, email me a voice memo at Tanya at Mother wit maternity.com. I really want to hear what worked for you what didn't work, what support you'd wished you had, how you got through the tough times how you advocated for yourself, or especially any tips you want to share with our listeners. I want to hear all of it. And if you'd really like to work together, you can get a discount on your first consultation with me at Mother wit maternity.com using the code first console 10% off. That's one 0% symbol, all one word. Okay, that's all that's wonderful being in community with you all. Thanks again for listening and see you next time.

Support us!

And remember, listeners, nothing we discussed on this show should ever be considered medical advice. Please speak to your local provider about anything that comes up in this show that resonates with you and your needs and your health care.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai